Swiff it good

Maybe it's dumb to declare that I hate cleaning since precious few people enjoy it, but yeah, I really hate it and I rarely engage in it. However, I have been on a quest this past week to get my house in order and the promise of a tidy and uplifting home has kept me motivated. The motivation was beginning to wane a little...until last night.

As I found myself putting off cleaning certain areas out of fear of confronting copious amounts of dust, I went out and purchased a Swiffer duster. One of those static clingy numbers that grasps the dust and allows you to poke it into tight corners and gaps.

I am fearful to admit how uplifting using this product was. I felt like all the dust from the bookshelf was removed by a snap of the fingers. One second it was there, but with a swipe of this magic wand, it was gone with not a trace of dust clump left behind. You know that dust clump that requires further cleaning just to dispose of it? But then I went nuts. I went to other parts of the house I was not working on, just to get more use out of the Swiffer. I really put that thing to task, but it just keeps going and going. I think my project was somewhat hindered by my eagerness to use the product. Possibly the sickest part of this whole thing is that when my friend reminded me (I was extolling its virtues on messenger, mid-clean) that "Whip It" by Devo had been modified to "Swiff It" for a commercial, I realised that if I had the song, I would have put it on as I Swiffed so as to "Swiff it good". I suck. As I was brushing my teeth last night, I decided to tackle the dust collection on some decorative Wizard of Oz tins I have in there. I ran for my Swiffer which lapped it all up. This was at 2:30am. See? I couldn't be stopped.

I feel like I've turned a new corner. Like I can finally win the previously believed, unwinnable battle against dust. I feel like I could merrily run over the house once a week with this thing. I feel this product might just revolutionise my approach to cleaning my home. I can't explain how liberating this feels.

In case you are thinking this is some sort of paid endorsement for the Swiffer company, I will take this moment to say that the Swiffer mop is piece of shit and sucks major ass. In fact, I fear that the failure of THAT product will hinder my efforts to turn over this cleaning leaf entirely, at least in the bathroom and kitchen.