Goo Gone: Nectar of the Gods?

This lady named Linn came over on Monday and she brought her 3 yr old son Trey with her. While Linn and I were upstairs Trey found some nailpolish and poured it all over our stairs. Our carpeted stairs. Then he smeared some on the wall for good measure. I was sad.

Then I remembered I had bought Goo Gone once upon a time, for no good reason, it just looked sort of intriguing in the store. It said it took paint out of cloth so I dumped Goo Gone liberally on the nailpolished carpet. (In case you're interested it was Blood Red by O.P.I. Not some subtle taupe or something.) The nailpolish came out. I am stoked. All hail Goo Gone!!

Razors

is there anything better that a really good close shave? it feels amazing, and looks a lot better too. i am really into having a clean shaven face. right now, i have about 3 days growth. which is quite shaggy and dirty looking. i look like a bum. the good news is, the longer the beard, the closer the shave. i'm going to wait until tomorrow to shave. this is going to be a good one.

i like to use really high quality razors. gillette mach 3. the trouble is, they are really damned expensive. over $12 for a small pack! i can't afford that! i have recently downgraded to these disposable gilette razors. they are ok...they do the job pretty good, but they are no mach 3 . i just got a new pack of THE REAL THINGS though. i am going to look 5 years younger after my next shave. awesome.

you know whats funny? if i receive, as a gift, for say...christmas, a pack of gillette mach 3 razor blades from my mother, i feel very happy! perfectly satisfied. do you think that my 10, or 12...or even 16 year old self would beleive that? it's like being happy to get SOCKS (which of course, these days, i am ecstatic over) but yes. if i get the gift of a pack of good razor blades...i feel very happy and content. it's a nice feeling to know that i will be clean shaven for motnhs after...and i didn't have to pay for it. my god those things are expensive.

when i was a kid, i used to dread socks as a gift...or clothes of any kind even. i remember receiving those soft packages, wrapped in green wrapping paper from k-mart...and just feeling so BLAHHHH...it's like...you have to buy this shit for me anyways, don't wrap it up and give it to me like some gift i'm supposed to care about! just buy me more toys and action figures! if it wasn't the shape of an action figure...don't wrap it. or hand it to me. just put it in the drawer in my room. sorry to sound so greedy..but i am trying to make a point here. BACK THEN...the idea of being grateful and thankful for RAZORS (or deoderant, or toilet paper) would be unthinkable...but that's where i am now. sure, i'd still love the toys as much now, as i would then....but those razors also make a wonderful gift.

in fact, there are 2 toys that really stick out in my mind....toys i never received as gifts. one christmas i remember, back in the trailer park, in the year 1980 probably, i tore though an AWESOME christmas morning...some great gifts, but i couldn't find the one i really wanted. it was the BIGFOOT action figure, from the SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN television series. i remember i was so distraught that i started opening any unwrapped gift looking for it....turned out to be some glass tumblers for my dad. i still want tha bigfoot! these are the 2 toys i wanted, but to this day, have never been able to find/afford...seriously, i love this shit. and i want them!!!!

BUT...the good news is....i would now be just as satisfied with some fucking razor blades. i guess i have become the dull boring adult i never wanted to be...and actually felt sorry for as an total brat of the 70's/80's

Swiff it good

Maybe it's dumb to declare that I hate cleaning since precious few people enjoy it, but yeah, I really hate it and I rarely engage in it. However, I have been on a quest this past week to get my house in order and the promise of a tidy and uplifting home has kept me motivated. The motivation was beginning to wane a little...until last night.

As I found myself putting off cleaning certain areas out of fear of confronting copious amounts of dust, I went out and purchased a Swiffer duster. One of those static clingy numbers that grasps the dust and allows you to poke it into tight corners and gaps.

I am fearful to admit how uplifting using this product was. I felt like all the dust from the bookshelf was removed by a snap of the fingers. One second it was there, but with a swipe of this magic wand, it was gone with not a trace of dust clump left behind. You know that dust clump that requires further cleaning just to dispose of it? But then I went nuts. I went to other parts of the house I was not working on, just to get more use out of the Swiffer. I really put that thing to task, but it just keeps going and going. I think my project was somewhat hindered by my eagerness to use the product. Possibly the sickest part of this whole thing is that when my friend reminded me (I was extolling its virtues on messenger, mid-clean) that "Whip It" by Devo had been modified to "Swiff It" for a commercial, I realised that if I had the song, I would have put it on as I Swiffed so as to "Swiff it good". I suck. As I was brushing my teeth last night, I decided to tackle the dust collection on some decorative Wizard of Oz tins I have in there. I ran for my Swiffer which lapped it all up. This was at 2:30am. See? I couldn't be stopped.

I feel like I've turned a new corner. Like I can finally win the previously believed, unwinnable battle against dust. I feel like I could merrily run over the house once a week with this thing. I feel this product might just revolutionise my approach to cleaning my home. I can't explain how liberating this feels.

In case you are thinking this is some sort of paid endorsement for the Swiffer company, I will take this moment to say that the Swiffer mop is piece of shit and sucks major ass. In fact, I fear that the failure of THAT product will hinder my efforts to turn over this cleaning leaf entirely, at least in the bathroom and kitchen.